Trends & Inspiration

40 Best Christmas Jokes & Puns

Autumn is officially over, the clocks have been brought forward and the days are getting that little bit colder, but knowing that Christmas is just around the corner is helping us get through it! The most wonderful time of the year is almost upon us and with us now working our way through November, it’s time to kick off the festive preparations. Christmas is all about spending quality time and showing your appreciation for friends and family, drinking too much (Bailey’s at Xmas is the one), eating way too much and of course, wearing funny Xmas jumpers & telling terrible Christmas jokes.

Xmas jokes may be some of the worst around, but let’s be honest, everyone bloody loves them (even if you’re friends make out that they’re giving you pity laughs). So if you want to get ahead of the game before unleashing those Christmas cracker jokes on the big day, you’ve come to the right place. Below we’ve selected some of the best Christmas jokes & puns and whittled them down to 40 – sleigh some of these Xmas jokes and you just snow that your friends with glove them!

Take your Christmas Jokes to the next level

Xmas only comes around once a year so it’s important to make the most of it while it’s here. So now you’ve found your jokes & puns, it’s time to ramp up the festivities and what better way than with funny Christmas jumpers & cards. Make it one to remember with IWOOT and take a look at some of our favourites below:

Yule be laughing out loud at these Christmas jokes

Kick Christmas off with these crackers…

1) Which of Santa’s reindeer has the worst manners?

Rude-Olph!

2) How do Christmas angels greet each other?

Halo!

3) What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?

Claustrophobia

4) Why was the snowman rummaging in a bag of carrots?

He was picking his nose!

5) What do fish sing at Christmas?

Christmas Corals!

6) Who hides in a bakery at Christmas?

A mince spy!

7) What’s a snowman’s favourite breakfast?

Ice Crispies

8) What do you call a greedy elf?

Elfish

9) How will Christmas be different after Brexit?

No Brussels

10) What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson

11) What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school?

The elf-abet!

12) What’s the difference between snowman and snowladies?

Snowballs

13) What is red, white & blue?

A sad candy cane

14) What do you get if you cross a duck & Santa?

A Christmas quacker

15) Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?

Because he had low elf esteem

16) What do you call a blind reindeer?

I have no eye deer

17) What do they sing at a snowman’s birthday party?

Freeze a jolly good fellow

18) Someone took my friends Christmas tree. It’s not fir.

19) Who’s Rudolph’s favourite singer?

Beyon-sleigh

20) What goes ‘Oh, oh, oh’?

Santa walking backwards

Gift Ideas

10 Best Christmas Jumpers 2019

2019-11-06 12:19:31By Tom Burley

You snow the drill..

These will get plenty of laughs, fir sure.

21) What’s Jack Frost’s favourite part of the school day?

Snow & tell

22) What’s Santa’s dog’s name?

Santa Paws

23) How did the bauble get addicted to Christmas?

He was hooked on trees his whole life

24) What do you call someone who doesn’t believe in Christmas?

A rebel without a Clause

25) What’s an elf’s favourite type of music?

Wrap

26) Why’s Santa so good at Karate?

Cause he’s got a black belt!

27) What did Adam say the day before Christmas?

It’s Christmas Eve

28) What happened to the man who stole an advent calendar?

He got 25 days!

29) How do snowmen get around?

By riding an icicle

30) What’s the best Christmas present in the world?

A broken drum, you just can’t beat it!

31) What did the farmer get for Christmas?

A cowculator

32) What carol do they sing in the desert?

O Camel Ye Faithful

33) Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing?

They always drop their needles!

34) Who’s Santa’s favourite singer?

Elf-is Presley

35) How did Scrooge win the football match?

The ghost of Christmas passed

36) How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces he’s visited?

He keeps a logbook

37) What do the royal family play at Christmas instead of musical chairs?

Game of Thrones

38) Why are snowman bad at cricket?

They’re always bowling snow-balls

39) Why was the turkey in the band?

He was the only one with drumsticks

40) How do you know when Santa is in the room?

You can sense his presents



Tom Burley

Tom Burley

Writer and expert