Is this the world's best firework game?

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See IWOOTE In Action

Further to the launch of I Want One Of Those Experiences, we took some distinguished guests out on a bit of a jolly around the middle of London, all in the name of showing people the freeing feeling of being driven around in a bed. And an office desk. Obviously. Was the throng of fashionistas in Soho Square ready for such a disarming sight? Did anyone climb in the bed and demand five minutes’ kip? Well, no, but you can see the results below. Watch out for the supremely confused-looking folk on the office desk:


This is just the tip of the iceberg as far as IWOOTE (we’re all pronouncing it “IWOOT-E”, but I personally prefer to make it a little jauntier… “IWOOTY”…) is concerned. Pop across to the website to see the full extent of the experiences on offer. If you’ve really dried up on the present-buying front, you could do an awful lot worse that buying a days worth of circus skills tuition as a way to say ‘I think you’re neat’. Or there’s a massive array of supercar, hypercar and flying experiences – and there’s always a sports themed boudoir photoshoot. Crumbs.

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IWOOT Triumphs at the WOW! Awards

As customers of IWOOT you’ll all be aware of how thoroughly nice we are here, and that our customer service team is top notch. Well, watch us swell with pride as we announce that our lovely CS team has been awarded two awards at the WOW! Customer Service Awards!

We were given the award for Best On-Line Retailer and the OWW To WOW! award, which apparently means that our CS superstars are always willing to go the extra mile. Anyone who saw their cake sale will know this to be true in every facet of their work. Yum. If you click through to the awards website, you can see our very own Cass and Sally talking about the awards and why we put so much emphasis on customer service. There’s some nice emotional music in the background, too.

Our MD, Richard Wainwright-Lee, had the following to say about it:

“The WOW! awards are a great accolade since they reflect many wonderful commendations from our customers. Everyone in IWOOT tries so hard to make our customers’ shopping experience with us a great one and I should simply like to say thank you to our customers for their continuing support and encouragement.”

Seriously though, in the same way that an army marches on its stomach, IWOOT marches on its customer service team – they do us proud!

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A New Arrival at IWOOT Towers

Everyone needs a little injection of the surreal throughout the course of the working day. From the time Bill in accounts tripped over the watercooler to when Mindy in finance sneezed six times in a row, we all need our fix.

Imagine the reaction here at IWOOT Towers, then, when JimboWoot burst through the doors just before lunch with this:



That’s right, folks, it’s a fridge. For the office. Not the kitchen, the office. Why didn’t we think of this before? It’s heartening to see our new arrival get the seal of approval, too – there’s a welcoming hug from JennaWoot and a fond pat from KieranWoot. We can’t wait to fill our new friend with luncheon feasts to last us through to January.

There’s a virtual pat on the back waiting for whoever can guess how much JimboWoot paid for this lifesaver…

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Link Mugs – Lifesaver

Tea, as we all know, is conducive to working life. For most of us, it’s impossible to even consider looking at our inbox without having first slurped a nice glug of warming brown gold – it’s something of a modern-day elixir. But, office etiquette being as it is, it’s not always the easiest thing in the world to successfully bring four steaming mugs of the stuff over to the desk at once (for colleagues, obviously, drinking four mugs of tea in one go is clearly insane).

Countless times have we witnessed DinoWoot’s astonishing proficiency in this area. Seriously, if he could apply that kind of poise and balance to the rest of his body he’d be vaulting a horse in 2012. I, myself, am a little more timid when it comes to multiple-beverage-carriage. Since a few ill-advised multi-pint carries in my student days, I know better than to try and get around it by slipping a G&T in my pocket. It doesn’t work, it just makes your pocket smell like a posh tramp. So I’m putting these bad boys on my Christmas list:


Mugs! That link up! Amazing! No more spilt tea!

Thanks to Geeky Gadgets for the spot. They’re designed by Jonathan Aspinall, who makes all sorts of clever stuff. Maybe he can make us a tea.

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And The Winner Is… (Week 5)

This week has undoubtedly been the toughest to judge, and we actually feel a bit sorry for some of the stronger entries that haven’t won. In all seriousness – ta a bunch for getting involved and making our Halloween that little bit spookier.

We’re sure you’ll agree, though, that the winning entry is very innovative, great fun and totally in the spirit of the whole competition. So congratulations go to Mark Ritchie for his guillotine entry. Well flipping done Mark!




The photo quality isn’t terrific, but the idea is so good that we couldn’t resist making it the winner. There’s attention to detail, evidence of huge effort and, binding it all together, the slightly scary idea of pumpkin society evolving so much that they employ a judicial system and operate the death penalty. Lovely.

As we said, there were some superb entries (and a few that were pilfered from Google Image – tut tut!), the best of which are below. Once again, well done everyone, what a great week!

Darren Rye

Denis Rush

Debie Deane

Don’t forget to have a look at this week’s competition – simply tell us the meaning of life in one Tweet. Easy-peasy.

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Win An iPhone Week 6

A ghoulish slew of beautifully carved pumpkins kept us entertained in last week’s competition, a smorgasbord of scariness all round. For week 6 (is it really week 6 already?), we’ve decided to shake things up a bit. You may have noticed that, so far, all the iPhone comps have been based on Facebook, that most agreeable and useful of social networking services. This week, we’re operating the competition via Twitter.



Plato - always on Twitter.

“What?!” I hear you scream, “How will I upload this week’s requisite ridiculous photo for all to see?!” Well, you don’t have to worry. All we want you to do is to give us your definition of The Meaning Of Life in the space of one single Tweet. It’s very important that you squeeze in the following text on your tweet so we can count them all: #iwootmeaningoflife . This will give you 121 remaining characters to tell us your version of the world’s most challenging question – don’t say we don’t make you work for that iPhone. As always, make sure your entry is in by 10AM on Monday November 9th.

So if you think the meaning of life is, in the words of Spinal Tap keyboardist Viv Savage, “To have a good time all the time”, then all you have to do is type “#iwootmeaningoflife To have a good time all the time” into your Twitter feed. Simple.

Descartes - thinker, philosopher, Tweeter.

So get thinking, pondering, meditating or whatever it is that one does when contemplating the meaning of life. Good luck! Our Twitter page is here if you fancy following us. We’ve done a Tweet with the hashtag in it to get us going.

Competition Terms & Conditions:

• Closing Date For this competition is 10AM on Monday 9th November 2009.
• Sadly, you can only enter this competition once. (You can’t fool us, you know!)
• This competition is completely free to enter, no purchase is necessary.
• No cash alternative is available for the prize(s) offered.
• This competition is open to residents of the UK only.
• Employees of I Want One of Those and their immediate families and anyone professionally connected with the promotion are not eligible to enter this competition
• The winner will be chosen by the IWOOT team.
• The winner will be notified of their win via Twitter, and under the name submitted on their entry. If a response to this notification is not received within 14 days, IWOOT reserves the right to randomly select another winner. In light of this, please ensure you submit an email address that you use regularly!
• No responsibility will be accepted for entries that are not received.
• From time to time we may include customer comments and feedback on the site, and in our catalogue and other media. By submitting your comment you are granting us permission to publish it and, if necessary, edit it for clarity and typos.

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The Loneliness Of The Long-Distance Blogger

Yesterday, I was ill. Off sick. Laid up. Bunged up. It was horrible, frankly, and probably compounded by it being man-flu or whatever other stereotypical names you may want to give my afflictions.  Whichever way you slice it, having a cold is one of the most insulting things that human civilisation has to deal with – it’s not life-threatening, it debilitates you, it puts you in a bad mood, you can’t taste all that lovely chicken soup you’re supposed to have and it makes your face look like the Michelin Man’s bicep. Anyway, I was out of action for the day, and my diet and activities looked a little like this:


Tissues and Lemsip. Good times.

Yuck, I’m sure you’ll agree. Honestly, another teaspoon of that disgusting blackcurrant swill would be enough to make me hack off a toe. Horrible stuff. Anyway, my thinking was that, as long as I’m sitting about feeling sorry for myself and blowing my nose, I could at least get something productive done on my day off. I sent DinoWoot an email early on asking him to send me the login details for this here blog (his response of “whoops, forgot” came at about half past four) to enable some home-blogging, and set about dumping the contents of my iTunes library onto my external hard drive. What an exciting blog post this is.

After some much-needed dozing and whining and Lemsip, I flicked the telly on to see Eamonn Holmes and that other woman from This Morning telling people how to keep their children safe online. This, coupled with the emptying computer on my lap, turned my mind to the omnipresence of technology. Even on a sick day, we can potentially be at work while we snivel.

Initially I though that this was a marked difference from when we used to milk an illness for as much as possible to get out of school. Ah yes, the days when all we had to entertain us on a sick day was the current copy of the Radio Times and educational programming… but then I remember what my mum used to shout at me on such days: “if you’re well enough to play with your Game Boy, you’re well enough to go to school!” Times, it seems, have not changed much.

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Asleep At The Wheel for IWOOTE.com PR Day

Anyone who found themself stalking the streets of central London yesterday may have been confused to find some comfortable-looking people taking to the roads in some bizarre vehicles. Unless, of course, you’re used to seeing a bed, a sofa and an office desk driving around Theatreland – and you’re not, are you? So let us tell you, there’s no better way to beat the numbing inevitability of a traffic jam in the capital than slipping on your jim-jams, closing your eyes and letting it all pass you by… assuming you’ve got a licensed and awake driver that is. Ahem.

Anyway, here are some pictures of our PR event for the launch of our brand new Experiences website, I Want One Of Those Experiences:




If you want your life to look like those pictures (and you’d be mad not to, surely) then have a look at the World’s Wackiest Racers Experience here. For a plethora of other silly, dangerous, white knuckle-inducing and, above all, fun experiences, look no further than our range of unhinged adventures here.

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Surviving The Zombie Apocalypse

We’ve had a couple of interesting comments relating to our tactics for surviving the Zombie Apocalypse and, with more than a little smugness, we’d like to think we’re now well-versed in the best methods of defence. Someone calling themselves Monkey Mischief (we’re intrigued) opts for some seriously hazardous tactics, while the more reasonably-named Craig Melson has gone for some equally more reasonable safety measures. Thanks to both.




Sayeth Monkey Mischief:

“OK, absolute household essentials when under attack from a legion of zombies:

Food sources:

Squash is a big no-no! You cant drink the water cos it’s full of zombie gunk and the fastest way to get infected other than being bitten!
Ice cream – always good, helps when you feel low, helps when you feel high, usually after a kill, and helps for that quick sugar pick-me-up you need after running for your life.
Bottled water: defo an essential. If you have this then you’re ok to have squash.
Pot noodle: as long as your kettle still works you’re OK to boil the tap water and you have pasta for carbs.


Curtain rail
Put all of these together with the string and you’ve got the perfect weapon for killing zombies, without having to get within biting range!

Never stay with friends, in the end they will just get you bitten. All you need is Guitar Hero and an Xbox 360 you can keep friends but talk to them online, that way you can watch their sorry asses getting killed from a safe distance.

BUT MOST OF ALL you must have a Border Collie! Have you noticed how dogs never get bitten by zombies? You can train it to go out to the shops to buy more Pot Noodles and squash…”

Now, there are several inconsistencies with this strategy – is it wise to survive solely on squash and Pot Noodles? Tinned food is surely a better idea. Also, that Blue Peter-style weapon idea – what about close combat? There seems to be a definite focus on just grinning and making the best of a bad situation which, though commendable, might just end up in some serious brain-gnawing. And remember – a dog is for life, not just for the Zombie Apocalypse.


Craig Melson’s stratagem:

“Step 1: Be prepared before the zombies come. Stock canned and bottled water and dried fruits and tinned food as it cannot go off. Remember to allocate 20% extra water for washing needs.

Step 2: Destroy the staircase. If you live in a house, chop through the staircase so the zombies cannot walk up it. Also use this tactic for Daleks. If you live in flats or have concrete stairs, barricade it so nothing can come up or down.

Step 3: We’re in Britain not in a small Yank town. Therefore guns are mostly out. Make sure you have a long reaching bladed weapon or a bow to hack off the head of a zombie. In emergency, a broom handle with a kitchen knife securely fastened can act as a spear.

Step 4: Supply yourself with matches, candles and books. If the electricity goes out, you need light and heat, plus material. Reading engages the brain better anyway. After reading you also have emergency fuel.”

This is a much more reasonable series of steps. Proper Preparation Prevents Poor Performance and all that. Not too sure about the staircase tactic though – this is slightly debilitating if the Z.A. looks set to last a sustained period of time. In the short term, though, excellent foresight. As opposed to Monkey Mischief’s “just play Guitar Hero and the zombies will take care of themselves” attitude, Craig adopts a distinctly more Cormac McCarthy-esque viewpoint and would probably last longer.

Anyone else got some good tips for survival?

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