Street Wars – The Kill

It’s finally happened! JennaWoot has made her first kill. None of us can look at her in the same way ever again…

Kill story: Sleeping with the enemy

“After the woes of looking for an address that didn’t exist and hours of tedious coffee-swigging house stalking we decided that we needed to take a more proactive angle

Some skilled research by ***** revealed that, outside of the briefed work schedule, The Monkeys also teach martial arts classes.

The ruse began as I took on the pseudonym of ‘Anna Mollie’ (geddit?) Created a fake hotmail account and had a nice little chat with the target via email about joining a class. I arranged an appointment to attend a trial kickboxing lesson the following day.

As ***** was otherwise engaged I donned my hottest gym wear and rocked up at the Monkeys’ martial arts HQ alone.

I was greeted at the door by Agent Tarsier – I had planned to take her out then and there but by now I actually quite fancied a spot of kickboxing. Plus I had gone to the effort of dressing up. Brazen as you like I shook hands with Agent Gorilla who gave me an intense one on one lesson. Talk about fraternising with the enemy.

After my grueling workout I graciously accepted a bottle of water from Agent Gorilla and returned with a watery offering of my own… from my gym bag concealed AK47 Aqua Fire.

Lulled into a false sense of security and then BAM! Oh… and thanks, my roundhouse kicks have never been better!”

August 4, 2010, 8:23pm

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Street Wars – The Briefing

As you know, our very own JennaWoot is currently engaged as an aquatic assassin in the London-wide game of Street Wars. Aside from wearing disguises and quivering in fear an awful lot, nothing has changed – but things are about to get a little weird…

“Wearing homemade panda masks to cunningly conceal our identities, we headed to the secret briefing location in Hoxton – a gated club guarded by two suited men armed with super-soakers.

We were asked to state our name and purpose before being buzzed through to an outdoor waiting area. Ten minutes later two evening gowned ladies appeared and ushered us downstairs to the basement.

Pandas. They can kill.

The room was dark – lit only by candles. Two large leather recliners were positioned in front of a table with two laptops. One screen displayed a video link to the “Supreme Commander” and the other the “Mustache Commander”.


As we took a seat we were each presented with a glass of whisky from a giant bottle of Jack Daniel’s. We were handed a file containing details of our first target including a photo, phone number and both home and work address.

After a short pep talk we were released to begin our mission, the final words of the supreme commander fresh in our minds… “Stay dry and live in fear.”

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Creme Egg in a Microwave, anyone?

We put a Creme Egg in the Microwave. Does this post need to say much else?

Obviously, we implore you not to try this at home. We are trained professionals with very poor-quality camera phones.

Blimey! Who knew the goo would come out so weirdly?! Anyway, you might be wondering exactly why we thought this was a good idea. The only thing I can put it down to is the combination of nervous terror and bizarre eating habits (see the picture at the top) that seems to be currently affecting JennaWoot. Poor lass. Still, at least we got to put a Creme Egg in a microwave, eh?

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BBQ Competition Winners

It’s time for us to get all end-of-term-awards-ceremony and announce who the winners of our BBQ competition are! How exciting!

First of all, though, we should probably tell you the answer to the fiendishly difficult (actually, it wasn’t that hard, was it?) question that we set. If you remember, we asked what the South African term for a barbecue was and approximately loads of you answered correctly:


So, now that you know, we can reveal the 5 winners:

Christina from Stafford

Karolina from London

Kelly from Oxford

Thomas from Halifax

Daniel from Ifield

Well done folks, enjoy your super BBQ prizes! We’ve emailed them already, so with any luck they should know by now… Thanks to all who entered, we were overwhelmed with responses!

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The Kindness Offensive Give Away IWOOT Stuff

No-one likes a meanie (if they do, then they’re probably a meanie themselves), and the people at The Kindness Offensive know it better than anyone. Basically, they’re an aggressively nice bunch of people who love nothing more than making other people’s days as often as possible. Of course, IWOOT is just as friendly (even during catalogue season), so we were more than happy for them to give a load of our loveliest products away for free at the Sunrise Festival.

Watch this video to see lots and lots of happy hippies with Lightblade Umbrellas and Selk Bags:

Aaah. Who wants a hug?

You can visit The Kindness Offensive here. Do so for good vibes and such.

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Awesome Watch

Tokyo Flash have always had an ability to produce watches that are a perfect equilibrium between design & geek. The Tokyo Flash Cross Town Traffic is no exception.  I personally am not a watch-wearer, but am often tempted by shiny time keepers that I think will make my chubby arm look a little more appealing. Even more appealing is the fact that people will actually have to ask you if they want to know the time. Imagine that. You are on the bus or tube and someone ACTUALLY engages in conversation. If you’re lucky, maybe you’ll get eye contact. Whatever. It is the year 2010 after all, and most people use their mobile phones as a watch. Anyway – onto the specs -

“Navigating Traffic will become your forte once you’ve mastered the rules of the road. Take a look at the maps below and trust your instincts. Hours 1-12 are the city streets in blue, 5 minute intervals are shown along the subway line in orange and single minutes 1-4 are the highway out of town in green. After touching the button, lights showing the current time will flash for a seven seconds to direct you.”


  • Displays the time
  • Stainless steel case & strap
  • USB rechargeable: connect to your computer with cable provided
  • LED animation option (can be turned off)
  • Clasp: simple fold over clasp with push button
  • Minimum wrist size: 130 mm (approx.)
  • Maximum wrist size: 200 mm (approx.)
  • Case dimensions: 33 mm x 48 mm x 9 mm
  • Weight: 164 grams
  • Water resistance: 3ATM
  • Battery: LIR2032 rechargeable & replaceable watch battery
  • Japanese and English instructions
  • One year manufacturer’s warranty


Found via Geekologie
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Motorized Couch???

I still believe that for Google to fully achieve their dreams of world domination, they are going to have to invent a battery powered “Google Car”. Yup. You heard me, I predicted it first. Anyway, crystal ball aside, I had a big, fat chuckle when I found this post about two BYU students who invented a “Motorized Couch”. This so called “chick-pulling” wagon puts Segways to shame. Who wants to stand up anyway?

Unfortunately, like all things schweet, it has been banned from the campus grounds. One has to wonder why the powers of learning institutions are always hell bent on banning stuff. When I was a brace-faced junior, side partings were all the rage (don’t laugh, I happened to love having curtain-esque hair covering my eyes), so they immediately banned long fringes, and then when too much gel was all the rage, they banned hair product. Short hair, long hair, gel, wax….. I really hope that pudding bowl haircuts become Jedward-like popular so they can finally ban them too.

Anyway, check out the video below, get inspired, and build one. I am looking forward to someone pulling up outside IWOOT towers offering to give me a ride home. Double points if it’s a lazy boy. Found on Geekologie

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Jenna Woot is an Assassin!

Well, kind of… Our very own Jenna Woot has entered Streetwars and I managed to quiz her on what looks to be an awesome next few weeks. This is what she had to say about it -

“Isn’t it every girls dream to don a mack, grow a moustache and live a life of espionage?

Next Sunday StreetWars, a 3 week 24/7 London wide water gun ‘assassination’ tournament, hits London.

The mission is simple: Under the cover of darkness you are required attend the meeting point and pick up a manila envelope containing details of your target. You must track down your target and, with any water based weapon, give them the soaking of a lifetime.

To make it slightly more of a challenge you must also avoid being drenched by the assailant who will be hunting you. Once you have reduced your target to a sopping mess his target then becomes your next mission. Safe points include your workplace, public transport and bars.

The last (dry) man standing is victorious.

What could be more fun? Needless to say I signed up in seconds.

Being an Iwooter certainly has its perks. I’ve been kitted out with two of the highly sought after AK47 Aqua Fire guns for one. The fact that I can turn up to work dressed like a tree and was not sent home is also a bonus.”

Live action updates -most likely coffee fuelled and from bushes- to follow… To see the Street Wars Video click here



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Attention All Megadrive Fans!

I was scouring the interwebs this morning, and boy was I excited when I stumbled upon www.playsega.com. All of my favourite old school mega drive games (barring Mortal Kombat), available to play on my PC!  So, as one does, I hurriedly got started on a free one day trial (of course free forever clearly just isn’t an option in today’s penny squeezing world) and hey presto – joy of all geek  joy – I eagerly waited for Sonic 3 to load. Alas that is where my journey ended. I tried Firefox, Safari and Google Chrome (stop right there – don’t even dare recommend IE).  My failure though, could be related to not having one of the million plug-ins required in the PC world. Don’t let my bad experience put you off however, with firewalls, company security policies etc, it is probably just me and my Vista 64bit Designer-Hating machine. Give it a go, and please, oh please, let me know how you find it!


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Ice Lollies 2.0

So this time it was JennaWoot’s turn to craft something magical with our trusty Zoku. After an initial false start (Smeggy, our freezer, decided he didn’t like having his door shut completely), we re-froze and got underway.

But what were her flavours of choice? Would she be able to top the majestic Kopparberg lolly from the other day? Have a little look at our pictures below to find out…


That’s right, folks. JELLY AND CUSTARD.

First of all, though, Lemonade and Jelly Babies:


JimboWoot gives it two hands…


While DannyWoot pulls it to pieces.

Next up, a three-layered Coffee lolly – that’s coffee, milk and chocolate on top, with ACTUAL COFFEE BEANS in there somewhere:

Look closely for the beans...

JennaWoot admires her own handiwork…

And finally, what we’ve all been waiting for… Jelly and Custard. It’s like Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory in here.

Sweet satisfaction.

JimboWoot is a man at peace.



Jelly end was better.

JennaWoot celebrates her lolly success. With a lolly.

Well, she really pulled it out of the bag, didn’t she? The coffee one didn’t ttaste the best (spoonful of sugar might help next time) but it certainly looked amazing. The Lemonade and Jelly Babies concoction was delicious and took the advertised 7 minutes to freeze, while the jelly and custard combo took rather a long time – and was then almost impossible to remove from the machine itself. You have been warned. It was, however, ruddy scrumptious, so it was definitely worth it.

It’s hard to see where we might go from here, but expect an update soon…

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