It’s finally happened! JennaWoot has made her first kill. None of us can look at her in the same way ever again…

Kill story: Sleeping with the enemy

“After the woes of looking for an address that didn’t exist and hours of tedious coffee-swigging house stalking we decided that we needed to take a more proactive angle

Some skilled research by ***** revealed that, outside of the briefed work schedule, The Monkeys also teach martial arts classes.

The ruse began as I took on the pseudonym of ‘Anna Mollie’ (geddit?) Created a fake hotmail account and had a nice little chat with the target via email about joining a class. I arranged an appointment to attend a trial kickboxing lesson the following day.

As ***** was otherwise engaged I donned my hottest gym wear and rocked up at the Monkeys’ martial arts HQ alone.

I was greeted at the door by Agent Tarsier – I had planned to take her out then and there but by now I actually quite fancied a spot of kickboxing. Plus I had gone to the effort of dressing up. Brazen as you like I shook hands with Agent Gorilla who gave me an intense one on one lesson. Talk about fraternising with the enemy.

After my grueling workout I graciously accepted a bottle of water from Agent Gorilla and returned with a watery offering of my own… from my gym bag concealed AK47 Aqua Fire.

Lulled into a false sense of security and then BAM! Oh… and thanks, my roundhouse kicks have never been better!”

August 4, 2010, 8:23pm

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