After JimboWoot shamelessly shunned the non-iPhone owning remainder of the general public in his post last week (sample quote: “YOU SEE WITH YOUR EYES NOT WITH YOUR HANDS!”), I’ve stumbled across the perfect anti-theft device for his beloved box of joy – disguise! If you can’t actively stop the thieves themselves without attracting the wrong kind of police attention, you’d better wise up and get smart. Desirable items deserve disguises.

What could fool any potential grubby-fingered touchy-feely types more than this ingenious slice of retro deception?



A foolproof deterrent?

What next? Rolls Royce cars with a Vauxhall Nova anti-theft throw rug? Front doors with clever wall-esque paint jobs? The possibilities are endless. The only thing that worries me about this disguise is that, actually, those retro phones are kind of cool. Any discerning thief with a soft spot for kitsch and a working knowledge of the props from Wall Street and American Psycho (they’re out there…) will doubtless be falling over themselves to half-inch this out of your pocket. They’ll discover that instead of bagging themselves a novelty item that takes them back to their power-suit heyday, they’ve got an iPhone.

Then, consumed by disappointment and a hatred of all things modern, they’ll surely return it to its rightful owner. Obviously.

Thanks to All Weird News for spotting this security measure for the future.

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