Recent reports across the papers tell us that the must-have product for the kiddy-winks this Christmas is the Go Go Hamster. A cute little thing that runs around under your feet and will keep the tiddlers happy until Boxing Day at least, it’s a massive phenomenon that looks set to make the weeks leading up to Christmas a bit of a headache for anyone with children and word ‘aaaah’ in their vocabulary.

The problem is that they’re near-impossible to get hold of. Like Buzz Lightyear and Tracy Island before them, the Go Go Hamsters are just too darn popular, with tales of pushy parents grabbing them as soon as they hit the shelves cropping up with increasing frequency this week. Heck, they even crashed the Toys R Us website.

We think we know where all those Go Go Hamsters have gone – and it’s not pretty. Remember this headline?

Freddie Star Ate My Hamster

Well, it seems that Mr Starr is up to his old tricks again. Reports have reached us (don’t ask us how, you don’t want to know) indicating that the comedian is up to his old tricks – apparently he can’t get enough of the furry little things, despite the complex wiring and electrical wizardry inside. When quizzed about the health and tastiness implications of such a technological snack, Starr could only comment: “All them wires, they’re like a pie filling to me…” as he wiped the microchips from his lips.

Things look set to get worse for Starr as his hapless PA is sent repeatedly into town to see if Tesco has had another delivery of Go Go Hamsters. There is a light at the end of the tunnel for any parents looking for a Go Go, however, as an alternative has surfaced right here at IWOOT. Just don’t tell Freddie Starr, we’re worried about what he might do.

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