Red Alert Buttons

Every office in the land has its fair share of David Brents spouting forth absurd management speak, not to mention the plethora of jobsworths mouthing off gibberish in an attempt to sound knowledgeable. Someone once said that it's better to be silent and be thought of as intelligent, than to open your mouth and be known as stupid - if only more people took that advice. Fortunately help is at hand with the Bullshit button that tells it like it is. A vital accessory on every desk in the land, the moment someone tells you they're late because of leaves on the line, or that the 'blue sky synergies will downsize the corporate matrix' you can slap that button and a suitably loud Bullshit alert will blast out. There are five different alerts that will amuse everyone in the vicinity and with any luck silence the perpetrator. It's pretty stupid, but probably not half as stupid as the people you will use it against.

Of course we're not all plagued by bullshit (thankfully), but there are always moments in our lives when we're struck by panic, and when panic hits you, you need some support. Enter the utterly useless but rather satisfying Panic Button - it may be stupid, but it will share your sense of impending doom admirably. When the cold fear hits, simply slap the button, and a random blaring panic alert will blast out. There are two randomly sequencing alerts; "Begin Panic Sequence, 3, 2, 1, arghhhh" and "Initiating Panic Sequence, arghhhh", which will make you feel better and everyone else feel probably worse, just the way it should be.

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