Terrorist Tea Pot


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Teatime control!

I know who you are, I know where you live... and I demand milk and sugar! Take control of teatime. Have your demands met with the Terrorist Tea Pot but whatever happens, don't let them see your face!

The traditional British hand knitted cosy tends to resemble a woollen hat, often featuring a bobble on top. According to comedian Billy Connolly, if a man is left alone in a room with a tea cosy, and he does not attempt to wear it, he is not be trusted.

Tea cosies in fiction include the eponymous items in Edward Gorey's The Haunted Tea Cosy: A Dispirited and Distasteful Diversion for Christmas. Some tea cosies are just evil. The Suck UK Terrorist Tea Pot is a set including a tea pot and a balaclava tea cosy. The pot holds 1.5 litres (50oz) which will make you 5 or 6 big cups of steaming hot tea!

A wise man once said that when a person is gripped by the unknown, the scary or the inexplicable, the kneejerk reaction is to laugh, which may go some way to explaining why some zany creator came up with the Terrorist Tea Pot, a dichotomy if ever there was one. So if you like your tea aggressively strong, then grasp this little tearaway with his menacing eyes and silly balaclava tea cosy and tuck into a pile of biscuits and a top cuppa - we say make tea not war!


  • A very menacing tea pot with dark intimidating eyes
  • A balaclava tea cosy to keep the identity of your tea-time terrorist a tightly guarded secret
  • Tea pot holds 1.5l (50oz)
  • Cups, spoons and saucers not included.

Please note: Do not let children handle scolding water or tea.


  • Dimensions: 48.5 x 22 x 67.5cm   
  • Weight: 8.3kg

Product Details


Delivery & Returns

How long will it take to arrive?

Please check the stock availability notice on your item when placing your order. This item is: Sold out

Please remember to add postal time (2-3 working days) to obtain a complete estimate of delivery to your door.

How will I know it has been sent?

You will receive an email to confirm when your item has been sent.

You can also check the status of your order and individual items by accessing My Account details and following the prompts.

Please allow 10 working days from dispatch of your order before notifying us of any late deliveries.

It may be advisable to check with your neighbours to see if a parcel has been left with them, check any outhouses you might have where it may be left if it cannot fit through your letterbox and contact your local sorting office to see if the item has been returned to the depot as undelivered and awaiting collection.

If I'm not completely happy with my item?

Please see our returns policy.


Customer Reviews




(15 Reviews)

  • 5    12
  • 4    2
  • 3    1
  • 2    0
  • 1    0

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Teapot Takedown

Total :


Absolutely amazing. A well made teapot, with very convincing 'dodgy geezer' eyes, and a fabulously insulating knitted balaclava (courtesy of those knitting nanas that make that rather healthy breakfast cereal, I reckon). I was really looking forward to seeing the look on my mum's face as she unwrapped her 'lovingly selected' birthday gift but alas! Methinks the teapot was a little too convincing, imagine my horror, when on my way out to my car with the teapot under my arm, I was wrestled to the ground by an armed police response team, who were in hot pursuit of gun-toting attackers who had left a trail of crumbs and carnage, after a hostage situ had gone bad, down at the custard cream factory. Unfortunately with an ear-splitting crash, it became evident that the balaclava-clad beverage custodian, was sadly, no more...

3 March 2014 by

for the person who has everything

Total :


I brought this as a present for my eldest brother. He's an avid tea-drinker and has everything you could ask for in terms of gadgets, therefore it's easy to understand why he loved this! A very quirky, yet somehow adorable gift! Could not fault it!

17 February 2014 by

Wooly face

Total :


This is a fun item that will go down brilliantly and a very unusual item. I imagine if on display it will be a great talking point.

24 December 2013 by

Top Teapot

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Bought this as a gift, very clever idea. The quality is very good with TTP logo on the base and comes in its own 'Terrorist teapot' box packed inside a larger box. The balaclava tea cosy is well made and fits the teapot with the eyeholes perfectly aligned. I ordered a second one and this arrived, as did the first, within 3 days on free delivery. I would definitely recommend this as a fun and unusual gift.

10 December 2013 by

Terrorist teapot

Total :


I am SO pleased with the Terrorist Teapot! It made me laugh online, but the actual item is hilarious in the flesh! Bought it for my brother for Christmas, hopefully he'll be allowed to use it!

4 December 2013 by

Brilliant - What a find!!!

Total :


Bought this, not expecting too much, it arrived within 3 days very well packaged in its own black and white 'Terrorist Teapot' box, inside a larger brown box. The balaclava is thick and well made and the teapot also has the logo printed on the bottom. Everyone who saw it thought it was brilliant, I ordered another one the day after receiving the first and this also arrived within 3 days - hilarious and unusual gift!

3 December 2013 by

Terrorist Tea Pot

Total :


Just bought it as a present. It was very successful. Brilliant.

27 November 2011 by

Terrorist Teapot

Total :


This is a nice idea, but a bit pricey, seeing as the balaclava is badly-made, and doesn't always fit the teapot!

9 December 2010 by


Total :


I bought this teapot for my boyfriend and we think its great to host at parties, we really love this awesome tea pot.

11 November 2010 by

Best Teapot. Ever.

Total :


I received this teapot as a gift recently and it's the best one I own! (And I own *a lot* of teapots...) It's big enough for four large mugs of tea so if you have a tea fetish, you'll be able to share it with three of your closest friends. Of course, if you're a tea fetishist, you may struggle to find three friends, but hey - more tea for you! Best of all, it comes with a multi-purpose balaclava...

17 March 2010 by

Hilarious, and fast!

Total :


I am incredibly impressed. Being disorganised I left my valentine's shopping until the Friday afternoon (Sunday being Valentine's Day) and finally decided on this little fella. Not an appropriate V Day gift some of you might say?! Well you don't know my boyfriend!! He is a tea fiend, absolutely obsessed with tea I tell you! To my utmost surprise (after warning said tea fiend that his present wouldn't arrive until Monday) we were woken at 10am on Saturday by the postie........with a lovely IWOOT box in his hands. Needless to say, I had no chance of getting the prezzie and keeping it until the Sunday - the boyf had it open in 30 seconds flat!! He was giddy with excitement, and proceeded to brew up some tea there and then (chai in case you were interested!)! The teapot has been proclaimed "a good'un" and works just as well as a normal teapot, only better looking! He is thoroughly happy with his Valentine's Day present!! And what did I get?! Flowers and chocolates..........

17 February 2010 by


Total :


just luv the squinty eyes and balaclava makes the tea taste better

2 February 2010 by

make tea not war

Total :


I got this for my wife as she likes odd things, she laughed so much I thought she'd drop it, now all visitors to our home are faced with a terrorist across the table, a great conversation piece, nothing better Than tea and conversation

5 January 2010 by

What fun!

Total :


Bought for my sister, a real tea drinker: she loved it, and it went straight into service. Even the acid test (does it pour without dribbling) proved a success.

22 November 2009 by

Original take on a classic

Total :


My weird husband requested a teapot and tea cosy for his birthday - I couldn't believe my luck when I came across this gem! Fun, functional and original - and best of all, not a crochet stitch in sight!

22 October 2009 by

Terrorist Tea Pot

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Terrorist Tea Pot