Cake Sale

As we’ve previously stated at length, we love cake at IWOOT Towers. Few things make us as giddy as the prospect of a good sponge, to be honest. So we were stoked, thrilled and delighted to raise some money for MacMillan Cancer yesterday afternoon by buying cakes our lovely Customer Service team had kindly made. Personally, I can whole-heartedly recommend the fridge cake. Delicious.

As you can see from the pictures, we truly love love love that lovely cake:






Find out more about MacMillan Cancer Support here.

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Ross Kemp… Folded

Is this the world’s best high-concept blog? I certainly think so. Like all the best internet phenomena, Kempfolds is wilfully and gleefully pointless, interactive and hilarious. It is, as you might imagine, a collection of photos of ex-Eastenders hard-man and erstwhile armed forces reporter Ross Kemp that have been strategically folded to achieve a mildly amusing result. Maybe it’s by virtue of Kemp’s near-circular face, but almost every single Kempfold is a work of quiet genius. Whether he’s oddly contorted so he looks like a baby or apparently shouting without a mouth, these photos have brightened many a mood.

Here are a few favourites:




The best thing about this is that, as long as Ross Kemp continues to be photographed, the concept is potentially very open-ended. There is a surprisingly low amount of Kempfolds in circulation at the moment (currently standing at 326 sent in), but the concept itself is ripe for the big leagues of viral stupidity. One wonders whether or not Mr Kemp himself knows about the whole thing, and what his reaction might be. The makers have stated, sadly, that there is to be a final, ultimate Kempfold at some stage. I for one hope it’s not for a long time yet.

Check out the Kempfolds collection here.

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Another Satisfied Customer

In the midst of all our iPhone giveaway craziness, it’s easy to get swept up in the competition itself and forget just how happy an iPhone can make someone. It’s like Rocky III. We spend so long thinking about the way in which Rocky could beat Clubber Lang, but ultimately the overriding importance has to lie with the happiness of victory itself. The payoff for all that hard work is seeing Rocky collapse on the floor of the ring after slugging through round after round of fisticuffs with Mr T off The A-Team.

But we digress. Here’s a picture of last week’s iPhone winner with her iPhone:


See how happy she is? If you try hard in our competition, you could be that happy too! Good luck and get entering!

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Christmas Comes Early At IWOOT Towers…

We were visited by one of Santa’s little helpers this afternoon at IWOOT Towers, just to make sure preparations were in place, deliveries being completed, postal strikes being ignored, that kind of thing. He seemed reasonably impressed with what we’re up to, remarking favourably on the quality of our tea and biscuits. All together now, “aaahhhhh…”

We captured his visit just for you:




We’re now expecting all manner of Christmas inspections from various festively-dressed animals, just to make sure we’re doing our best.
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Extreme Communication Rotation

Readers, a grave injustice has occurred. We demonstrably love the iPhone. A humble but essential gadget, it is the very essence of our modern lives, running through it like a river of relevance, pausing only at the delta of fun applications before rolling out to the sea of technology. In short, any act of violence visited upon an iPhone is an act of violence visited upon us, its humble sympathisers.

Imagine how our faces contorted in agony, then, when someone from Customer Services sent this video through:

(Disclaimer: Any iPhone owners who value them above things like jewellery, pets and family members should steel themselves before pressing play).


Still, if you’ve mangled your iPhone, why not enter our competition to win a nice shiny new one? This inspired psychotic fun comes courtesy of Will It Blend?

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The 15 Worst Surf Tattoos EVER

We all love the irremovable permanence of a graffiti’d body part, now don’t we? The reminder of a past lover, a simple declaration of love for one’s mum, or the classic ‘love and hate on the knuckles’ design… they’re all mint. We’re joking of course – many tattoos are amazingly intricate, artistically impressive and a neat compliment to the show-off in your circle of friends. Surfers in particular have more cause than most to make their bodies into living murals, what with being half-naked all the time, so if anyone’s going to take care over their tattoo, you’d think it woule be these guys. However, some surfers are not blessed with sound artistic judgement and choose to do things like THIS to themselves:


It gets worse:

Good grief.

So next time you’re thinking about irreversibly (well, not without having a face-off with a prop from ‘Goldfinger’) doodling on your body, have a look at this list to make sure you’re not going to look like you’ve just been kicked off the Bulldog Bash.

Thanks to Transworld for compiling this bizarre gallery, and to KieranWoot for the spot.

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And The Winner Is… (Week 2)

Another smashing week of inventive competition entries took our Facebook wall by storm but, rules being such as they are, we had to pick one entry as the best. We were overwhelmed by how interesting and bizarre some of your Desktop Sculptures were (seriously – some of you might need some help). The range of items included in some of the sculptures went from raw chickens to live puppies to blu-tack to cans of energy drink and most things in-between, but we picked a winner that we thought totally understood the brief and made a sculpture that was as impressive as it was inventive.


So without further ado, we offer our unending congratulations to…

Jeanie Hughes! Here’s her winning entry:


We thought Jeanie’s entry was funny and cute, but there’s some cheeky little details that make it even more endearing – the “IWOOT.COM” men, the use of only office-based equipment, the playground scenario and the whole vibe of escaping work for a few minutes – very impressive!

This was a really difficult one to call, and there a few that we’d like to congratulate too for their inventiveness and skill:

Daffyd Turner:


Isadora King:


and Colin Howson:


Well done all, but special congrats to Jeanie Hughes.

Don’t forget to enter this week’s iPhone comp too – it’s up to you to draw the best possible picture you can using the humble tool of MS Paint. Full details are here, and you can check on everyone else’s progress over at our Facebook wall. Good luck!

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Win An iPhone Week 3

We were, again, very impressed with the sheer volume and quality of entries for our iPhone competition, and the Desktop Sculptures you submitted were, on the whole, barmy and brilliant. This week, we’re taking the competition back to the very inception of computer-aided artwork – we want you to make the best possible picture you can using Microsoft Paint. Yes, we’ve all wasted time drawing rabbits and buses and whatnot using the user-friendly interface but, as always, only the most creative, interesting, fun or though-provoking drawings will be in with a shot of winning! So open up the Start menu, go to accessories, click ‘Paint’ and go mad!

This is what I knocked up in about five minutes. Obviously, you should make more effort than that:

Yours has to be better than this sorry excuse for creativity.

If you’re a Mac user, shove a PC-using colleague aside and get creative! Though you may be at a slight disadvantage, what with all the backwards-learning you’ll have to do… Honestly, as long as it’s better than the above, you’ll be in with a shot. Submit it to our Facebook wall before 10 AM on Monday October 19th, as per usual. The only other rule is that you have to squeeze the word “IWOOT” in the bottom corner, just so we know you’re not pilfering from other sources. Not that we think you’d do that…

Competition Terms & Conditions:

• Closing Date For this competition is 10AM on Monday 19th October 2009.
• Sadly, you can only enter this competition once. (You can’t fool us, you know!)
• This competition is completely free to enter, no purchase is necessary.
• No cash alternative is available for the prize(s) offered.
• This competition is open to residents of the UK only.
• Employees of I Want One of Those and their immediate families and anyone professionally connected with the promotion are not eligible to enter this competition
• The winner will be chosen by the IWOOT team.
• The winner will be notified of their win via the Facebook name submitted on the entry. If a response to this notification is not received within 14 days, IWOOT reserves the right to randomly select another winner. In light of this, please ensure you submit an email address that you use regularly!
• No responsibility will be accepted for entries that are not received.
• From time to time we may include customer comments and feedback on the site, and in our catalogue and other media. By submitting your comment you are granting us permission to publish it and, if necessary, edit it for clarity and typos.

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The Past Is A Terrifying Place

It seems that Windows has come in for a bit of a kicking lately, PR wise, and this old Windows 95 tutorial video is doing them no favours either. Hindsight is certainly a wonderful thing, but even at the time this must’ve seemed a little stilted as a promotional tool. What’s worse is that they clearly haven’t learned their lesson, as anyone who’s seen their latest Windows 7 videos will tell you. Not that Apple have displayed much better form – remember the Mitchell & Webb Mac and PC ads? Either way, have a look at these guides starring comedy stars of the day Jennifer Aniston and Matthew Perry:



Hilarious, eh? Those multi-million dollar paycheques were certainly money well spent. I particularly liked the “so you can fax from your computer?!” line – JimboWoot will be quietly celebrating the triumph of technology’s inexorable rise beyond the fax machine. As I said in a blog entry last week, it’s not a matter of Microsoft proving their worth, it’s a matter of affordability and until Apple’s prices drop, I’m going to have to use this kind of tutorial video to get my computing tips. Renaming documents is going to be a cinch!

Good on the Guardian for listing a load of interesting viral videos.

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Kevin Shields' Guitar Set-Up

This picture has done the rounds once or twice before, but it’s always a good time to stand back and marvel at the geek-overload that is Kevin Shields’ guitar set-up. To the uninitiated, Kevin Shields is the guitarist in seminal shoegaze band My Bloody Valentine, and a man to whom all modern electric guitarists owe a considerable debt. It’s not often we get bogged down in nerdisms (honest…), but Shields is a technical and aural whiz – thick layers of distortion are treated to endless groaning tremolos, whammy pedals, pre-amps and samples to create his signature sound, and it’s a true guilty pleasure to see exactly how he manages it:


As you can see, it’s a mite more complex than just sticking a distortion pedal into your Squier practice amp. I was lucky enough to catch My Bloody Valentine on their reunion tour last year – it’s the only gig I’ve attended where earplugs were handed out on the door. Like the purist (or fool) that I am, I didn’t bother using them and couldn’t hear for three days. It’s great to suffer for your art, eh? And, following in the footsteps of EddyWoot (last seen trailing through the skies over Brick Lane), I’ll be heading to the ATP Festival in December to do it all over again. Some people never learn.

Anyone who wants to hear what such clutter would sound like, have a listen to this Spotify link.

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